Volunteer Reflections
Life is Messy By: Megan
One of the biggest challenges for me so far this year has been community … the extended definition. The living together was challenging at first, but I've lived with people … I could do it, right? NO! This experience is so much more intense than any other situation because you can't take the easy way out. You have to face problems as they arise and they must be dealt with. It's not always easy … in fact, quite often it's very difficult.
I‘ve asked God for many things during this challenging time. I've asked for patience and help to make things better. I've asked God to fix whatever was broken. Right … like it's that easy. Instead of just fixing it for me, or allowing me to run or ignore the problem … God has surrounded me with loving and supportive people. I've learned new skills and I've found the gift buried in the messy. That's what I've learned this year … LIFE IS MESSY!!! It doesn't always fit neatly into one particular category and it doesn't always clean up at the end of the day. Life is not a TV sitcom … even though it seems like that sometimes. But within this messy is where you find God … He's there to teach you a lesson or show you a gift. Waiting through the messy can be hard and tiring and difficult … but it's worth it.
I've also had many challenges with myself. I thought I was pretty darn perfect and I didn't need to change. It was everyone else that was wrong … not me! It took some very caring people and a long time for me to finally look critically at myself. I had to ask for God many times. I had to be honest with myself, which was very hard to do. But it's brought me a better understanding of myself and my values and what's important to me. I like me even better now. J I guess perfect can get better.
Another challenge this year has been my work placement. I've learned so many things about myself and my professional goals and abilities. God has been there every day giving me support and strength to continue without giving up. He has again surrounded me with loving and supportive people who have helped to make this challenging experience a bit better … at least something to learn from.
It's no secret what my current challenge is. What am I going to do next year? Where am I going to live? Am I going to go to school? Am I going to work?
God has done an amazing job providing me with this opportunity. I know he has a wonderful master plan … but it sure would be nice to have a sneak peak. I am starting to worry and get nervous about what I am going to do … I've done what I can do … It's in God's hands now I guess.
The Newman Center has pens … they have inspirational quotes and prayers on the caps and it seems like you find the perfect one just when you need it. As I was writing this reflection during a spirituality night with my community I was using one of these pens. This was the prayer … "Lord grant me patience. But I want it right now." I hear you God … I'll wait.